My life has been through some great changes recently and I think it’s got me hooked on the whole concept of change now. I’m jonesing for more change.
A Brief Recap
In May 2011, I was in pain. I had 2 ruptured discs in my neck and ended up having major surgery. That summer kinda sucked.
In May 2012, I was in a different kind of pain. I was severely depressed and having panic attacks and afraid to tell anyone about it. My family, friends and coworkers knew I’d suffered depression for years but it had gotten markedly worse in April/May and I didn’t want anyone to know that part. I thought they’d be worried that I’d do something awful and irreparable, even though nothing like that EVER crossed my mind. I was in pain though and suffered largely in silence. Last summer definitely could’ve been better.
Now it’s May 2013 and life is AMAZING. I’ve made great progress in school and I can see the finish line, somewhere. I have a new-ish and fantastic job that is a PERFECT fit for me. I love the people I work with, I get to wear sweatpants/no pants about 80% of the time, and still be bossy and a perfectionist. My family and friends are doing well. My $$$ is doing well. My depression is under control. I have quit smoking for a while now. Life is good. Change is good.
Did it take a year for all this change to happen? No, it’s taken 4 months and 13 days. How do I know that? Because I started this blog on January 4th. Unemployed at the time, I wanted something to occupy my time and learning more about HR seemed a good start since that was my field and I was basically faking it…or that’s how I felt. Since then, this blog has been received warmly among people who clearly AREN’T faking it. I’ve been invited to do guest posts for other blogs (will change link to my post once it’s published) and awesome people have assisted with mine. I’ve met lots of new people, become more involved in my local HR and business scene, and “met” thousands more on Facebook and Twitter. HR Rock Stars. I have met some in real life, others I know I will one day, and some have become great confidantes, advisers and friends. Remember when I said HR was a big ol’ clique? Still true. But when I said they were friendly and welcoming, I had no idea what an understatement that was.
The Change Process
How did I accomplish this? Did it happen naturally and without any effort from me? Absolutely not. I butted in. I interjected in Twitter conversations I found interesting, I commented on blogs, I asked total strangers for advice and opinions, and totally crashed that party. Was it always comfy for me? No. I am still intimidated by these rock stars since I have no degree (yet) and I’m only informally studying HR. Why should the talent acquisition chief from Expedia ever talk to me? Guess what? He did. He does. You’re not reading this, but just in case…hi Jer! (Honestly, when I reached out to him on LinkedIn, I thought he was someone else, but whatever. He’s cool. There’s a pic of him wearing a cape on my FB timeline, so he’s clearly odd, which is EXACTLY the type of people I like to be on my FB.) There were a few moments of awkwardness with some people but for the most part, it wasn’t too bad. Stepping out of my comfort zone, not into a neutral gray area of I-don’t-give-a-damn-ness, but into active discomfort has achieved great results.
Is my life perfect right now? No. I am still woefully overweight and out of shape…not beating myself up over this, though, cause I did quit smoking, so yea. I want to add more value to my company, so I’m trying to learn accounting and more HR this summer. I’m not quite done with school yet so there’s still some work to be done there. My dad and I are talking, but there’s an elephant in the room we haven’t addressed. I’m not going to link to it, but regular readers will know what that is. I haven’t spent enough time with my local friends or talking to my distant ones (my real, non-HR people). My apartment is a disaster. I need to floss more. You know, the usual. It’s time for some more change.
People say change takes time. No, it doesn’t. It takes change. Real, actionable, quantifiable CHANGE. I look at my life right now and where I was 4 months and 13 days ago and it could not be more different. So that’s my new project — the next three and a half-ish months.
I have a few weeks now before summer school starts. Then 2 months of school and another few weeks of freedom. On Labor Day, I want to look back and say, “I remember that day…sitting on my boss’s sofa at the ass crack of dawn because she accidentally scheduled herself a flight so early not even Superman would put up with that BS, blogging while her daughter slept, about to get her ready for school — and look how much my life has improved since then.” Rolling over and watching Buffy till I fall asleep right now, though tempting and guaranteed to be awesome, is not going to bring about the change I’m seeking. That’s the old path; I already know where that leads. I’m on a new path now.
I didn’t have a plan 4 months and 13 days ago and I still accomplished a lot…with some luck, some great friends/family, and some innovative interrupting, if you will, on my part. This time I do have a plan and I am looking forward to BIG RESULTS and BIG ACCOUNTABILITY from you guys! So what’s the plan? What are my goals between now and Labor Day – and how do I intend to achieve them? Ahh. Check back on Tuesday and all will be revealed.
Have a great weekend everyone!! I’m starting my plan immediately!! – HRGF